This time I was trying to make a concept that was about happy moments, but that doesn't fit me, I always come, in the end to the dark side in life.

For me it's the normal way, the feeling from a David Lynch film is in my head every day. I hate it but I don't want to loose it at the same time.
It's save for me, but I'm also enjoying life and the happy moments.
From when I was a little girl, I was attracted to dead and cruelties.
So for this collection I was looking for charachters that present the worst and the best. That's hard because they are always connected to each other.
I think that's normal because lightness can't exist without darkness.

The image of Maria presents the light, happyness, she is the mother of us all. The image of Maria in paintings and sculptures is always light, serene and silent but also sad, lonely and bored, because she is wearing a secret under her long dress. She wears no staines and she is received unstained.
Life is only comforting (nurse) when life falls in a strange right way. You can feel it happening for a short time, this moment is burned in your brain and comes back once in a while. It's not a feeling of laughing or crying. It's a feeling of total happiness. I think we are looking for this feeling all the time. And because of looking all the time for happiness, we can't find it and we get unhappy.
We try to find it in love, money, work, family, in other people that look like they always have it and we forget to look around us.

We learned ourselves that we have to have sunshine all the time to be happy, but rain and thunder are also beautiful and can make happy moments.

LIFE IS WHAT IT IS.

But life can fall the 'wrong' way too. The most horrible things you can image are happening every day, mass murders, wars, serial killings, shootings, tortures. What is wrong with us and why are we attracted to this things and why are we doing this to ourselfs and to other people.

Is it because we are afraid off it and want to do it ourselves so we can control our fear (as Freud said)?
Or the image of Walter Benjamin that the foundation of every culture moment is a piece of barbarisme.

em>Or is a human not meant to be safe, we don’t want to come to rest, we don't want no piece and safety. Do we want to live on the edge and to be in inner doubt, in inner question ? That is our dignitie as thinking human beings. But it seems to us that we are incapable of it and in need of great cruelties, we grow in peace with peace, we grow in peace with decency. There is something about decency what brings out in us an arrogant boredom. We are fascinated by the dark, since the begining of great art.” (George Steiner)

Or is the brain not connecting the right way by some people, an organic defect?
Or is it how we learned living, how we were raised, what we been true?
Is it the same thing as getting cancer from smoking, but then in the brain? A lot of the female serial killers are raped from a young age, and turn crazy at a certain time and so the first raper that raped them at a very young age and all the others that hurt them, can you blame them?
Even more disturbing is that there are trends in this kind of things.We always think that trends are something positive and beautiful.
This is the day I realised that there is this entire life behind things. And this incredible but never in force that there is no reason to be afraid, never. It's a poor excuse I know but it helps me remember, I need to remember. Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it and my heart is going to cave in.

Open the book of myself

The meat is weak so just give up

It's hard to stay mad, when there is so much beauty in the world

Nothing is set and stone, not even darkness

As greedy as a pig

Even in Maria you find a serial killer

Insanity is around the corner

Dreams in which I'm dying are the best I ever had

Why people like the dark side

Beauty and uglyness are close together

Between darkness and light (douglas gordon)

What would you do if you drive to insanity

Cheap thrills

It's from every time, they become heroes

Flesh wants to control, Flesh gets confused

The wise blood, the blood rules them

The kingdom of memories

Memory is a great consolation

We are what we remember

The publication of the human soul

What you eat becomes part of you;

ingeste it

you eat it

it becomes fiber of your fibe

heart of your heart

cor cordis sursum

and it will stay with you

and suddenly you understand that the house of your own is wonderful furniture.

Most of use, don't create very much

so to be able to find in our house a company of the master spirit's,

the life blood of the master spirits,

you then come home to a very full house

MURDER IS NOT ABOUT LUST AND IT'S NOT ABOUT VIOLENCE. IT'S ABOUT POSSESSION. WHEN YOU FEEL THE LAST BREATH OF LIFE COMING OUT OF THE WOMAN, YOU LOOK INTO HER EYES. AT THE POINT, IT'S BEING GOD.
Serial Killer, Ted Bundy.

ONE DAY MEN WILL LOOK BACK AND SAY I GAVE BIRTH TO THE TWENTIETH CENTURY.
Jack The Ripper (1888)

WE ALL GO A LITTLE MAD SOMETIMES.
Ted Bundy

As long as I have strong supporters, I have all I can ask for.
Ted Bundy